What Is Negative Thoughts Actually Is? You’re Not Alone.

“What are negative thoughts?”

“Why do I have negative thoughts?”

Negative thoughts can make you feel like you’re constantly failing at being human.

No matter what you do, there’s a voice pointing out what you missed, what you messed up, who you should be by now.

If you don’t understand where that voice comes from, it can quietly run your life.

I’ve been there—stuck, ashamed, exhausted.

But today?

We’re calling them out.

One by one.

Because when you can spot them, you can stop them.

Let’s dive into the 7 common reasons you have negative thoughts that ruin your peace — and what to actually DO about them (without needing a psychology degree, three hours alone, or a trip to Bali).

If you’re a stay at home like, who lives in another faraway land, feeling isolated with no one to talk to, you’ve probably had these thoughts occasionally.

Or perhaps, every day?

Well, don’t worry.

Because this is totally normal.

And thankfully, negative thoughts are habits that you can stop.

But First, What is Negative Thoughts Anyway?

Ok, now that you know you might have negative thoughts, it’s time for me to explain what negative thoughts actually is.

You might encounter these words:

• Automatic negative thoughts (ANTs)
• Anxious thoughts
• Bad thoughts
• Overthinking

Well, guess what?

All of them are interlinked and synonymous with “negative thoughts.”

So, negative thoughts are actually thoughts that are negative. Literally.

So you and I, who have these thoughts, are usually called negative thinkers?

I know.

I also don’t like the sound of it.

But I have to admit it’s true, most of the time?

And more often than not, I always have this disbelief attitute about opportunities that land on me.

For instance, whenever there’s an opportunity laid out in front of me, instead of grabbing it hastily, my brain would start to become a mathematician (that I don’t wish for) and start laying out the possibility of me not going to land the opportunity.

And because I was already somewhat discouraged and made myself believe that I won’t land the opportunity, my whole action started to follow and apply late and answering the interview half-heartedly.

Hate to break it to you, but this is exactly how negative thoughts sabotage us.

They’re sneaky little gremlins that don’t just stay in your head—they seep into your actions, your decisions, and eventually, your results.

And then?

You look at those results and go, “See? I KNEW I couldn’t do it.”

(Self-fulfilling prophecy alert: It’s not cute.)

So Where Do Negative Thoughts Even Come From?

Good question.

Turns out, your brain isn’t trying to ruin your life on purpose (shocking, I know).

It’s actually trying to PROTECT you.

Your brain is basically that overprotective friend who’s like, “Don’t go to that party, you might embarrass yourself” or “Don’t apply for that job, they’ll probably reject you anyway.”

Thanks, brain. Real helpful.

But here’s the thing: Your brain evolved to keep you safe from saber-toothed tigers and falling off cliffs—not to help you thrive in modern life, where the biggest threats are awkward small talk and imposter syndrome.

So when you’re about to try something new, your brain goes into overdrive:

“What if you fail?”
“What if people judge you?”
“What if you’re not good enough?”

Sound familiar?

Yeah, saaaame.

The Real Kicker? Negative Thoughts Are LEARNED.

Here’s where it gets interesting (and slightly frustrating).

Negative thinking isn’t something you were born with—it’s something you picked up along the way.

Maybe it was from:

• That one teacher who said you’d never amount to anything
• Your perfectionist parents (or mother-in-law?) who only noticed your mistakes
• That friend who made you feel like you weren’t cool enough
• Social media that constantly showing you everyone else’s highlight reel while you’re stuck in the blooper section

(Thanks for nothing, Instagram.)

Over time, these experiences create neural pathways in your brain—basically highways for your thoughts to travel on.

And the more you think negatively, the stronger those highways become.

It’s like your brain is stuck on autopilot, cruising down the “I’m Not Good Enough” freeway at 100 mph.

But here’s the GOOD news:

If you learned it, you can UNLEARN it.

(Cue hopeful music.)

Why You Can’t Just “Think Positive” Your Way Out

Before we get into the how-to part, let me address the elephant in the room.

You’ve probably heard the whole “just be positive!” advice a million times.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ve wanted to throw something at whoever said that.

(Preferably something soft. We’re not monsters.)

Here’s why “just think positive” doesn’t work:

When you’re deep in a negative thought spiral, telling yourself to “be positive” is like trying to plant flowers in concrete.

Sure, you can TRY, but without breaking up that concrete first? Good luck.

You can’t just slap a positive affirmation on top of a deeply ingrained negative belief and expect it to stick.

Your brain will literally roll its eyes at you.

“I am confident and successful!”

Your brain will be like, “LOL, no you’re not. Remember that time you tripped in front of everyone? Classic.”

So What Actually WORKS?

Alright, enough with the problem. Let’s talk solutions.

The truth is, stopping negative thoughts isn’t about ignoring them or pretending they don’t exist.

It’s about:

1. Recognizing them when they show up
2. Understanding where they’re coming from
3. Challenging them with evidence (not just wishful thinking)
4. Replacing them with thoughts that actually SERVE you

Think of it like this: You’re not trying to become a relentlessly positive person who never has a negative thought.

(That’s exhausting and frankly, unrealistic.)

You’re just trying to become someone who doesn’t let those negative thoughts run the show.

Your Negative Thoughts Don’t Define You

Here’s something I wish someone had told me earlier:

Having negative thoughts doesn’t make you a negative person.

It just makes you… human.

Everyone—and I mean EVERYONE—has negative thoughts.

That super confident person you follow on social media?

They have them.

That successful entrepreneur who seems to have it all figured out?

They have them too.

Your friend who always seems so put together? Yep, them too.